News Nouvelles

SUMMARY: The Canadian Olympic swimmer made a big splash with the announcement that he's gay, and succeeded in making the occasion pride-filled and spiced with humor.

 1992 Olympic backstroke champ Mark Tewksbury picked the time and the method by which he would make it entirely public that he's a gay man, and he wanted to make the event not just proud, but joyful. He chose December 15 for the airing of an interview on CBC's Newsworld and the opening of his one-man show "Out and About" at Toronto's Buddies in the Bad Times Cafe (performed that night as a benefit for the Casey House AIDS hospice), and followed up with a media conference on December 17. His remarks have also raised a couple of specific issues regarding corporate discrimination and the lack of pride proclamations by his native Calgary.

Although a couple of editorials have taken a who-cares position on the matter, Tewksbury's had some 65 additional requests for interviews and at least 17 writeups in Canadian media so far, so clearly there is interest. After all, he was not only the nation's sweetheart as an athlete, but was also visible everywhere for awhile in product promotions and charity pitches, and went on to be a popular motivational speaker. He said himself that, "Maybe it shouldn't be an issue. I'm hoping in 10 years, it is not. But the reality of 1998 is, you're here, we're here ... it is an issue, it still is."

First, it should be understood that Tewksbury has not been very closeted since leaving swimming after the 1992 Olympics -- he just hadn't discussed his orientation with the media or in public. He was seen in gay venues around Toronto even in 1992. Although when "Frank" magazine tried to follow up on it then, Tewksbury's agent had them publish a letter denying that Tewksbury was gay and even inventing a girlfriend, and in 1994 Tewksbury went to Australia rather than face the "outing" music -- but by May of this year, Toronto's gay magazine "Xtra!" ran a photo of him arm-in-arm with another man, his partner Benjamin Kiss.

Tewksbury even realizes that many people had already assumed he was gay during his swimming career. He said, "It would be hard for people not to have known. There was no girlfriend. I was 'way out there. If you guys [in his theater audience] could have seen me, I was screaming back then, too. I was just leading cheers, that's all. But I was very good at what I did. People wanted to be like me. It was an incredible way to see how creative you can be. The swimming part was here, and the sex part was over here. And never shall those two meet. And it's OK, as long as we don't speak about being gay and touch people."

When a "financial institution" which is "not a bank" (and definitely not the Investors Group, a significant sponsor of his swimming career) cancelled a six-figure contract for his motivational speaking services on the grounds that he was "too openly gay," Tewksbury came to a turning point. Once he told the world that this was what led him to become still more open, naturally there was great interest in just which financial institution had been so blatant in its homophobia -- but Tewksbury is standing very firm about not telling. On the one hand, he said he "did not want to dwell on the negative;" on the other, he wanted to first consult with the company to make sure his sexual orientation was not merely an issue for one or two individuals there.

His one-man show, which he hopes to take on the road (even back home to Calgary), relates his life story just as his motivational speeches did, but including and emphasizing his sexual orientation -- and humor. "I'm not just gay, I'm a screamin' queen, so if we're going to use a label, let's get it straight!" he said. "I always knew. My first sexual fantasies were about men. And then we went through the 'playing with Barbies in the bathtub' stage. And there was the whole drag queen side," beginning with trying on his mother's clothes in his childhood. (In the show, he plays several characters, including his grandmother and a cheerleader.)

But it was no laughing matter to grow up gay in Calgary, which Tewksbury described as "not the most diverse of cities in the country," although he refused to be baited into describing it as redneck. "The voice inside my head for years was focused only on the things about me that I hate. Because I've been coming from a place of fear, of half-truths. When I was growing up, I used to stand in front of mirrors and think about killing myself because I was gay. And that's still the number one motivation behind teen suicide. That little part of me remained locked up for 30 years, and finally at 30, I am free of that. I am open to who I am. I've never felt freer, better, more whole as a human being than in the last couple of days.... My worlds are finally integrated. It's too painful to live a double life or a triple life."

In his youthful struggles, "Luckily there was swimming. Luckily there was sport. I think sport saved my life to a certain extent when I was a teenager." And he even feels that his struggles as a gay youth somehow made him a stronger competitor, although he says that, "Sports is the last closet." He had a crush for some time on swimmer Victor Davis, who knew Tewksbury was gay and looked down on him for it -- but didn't blow his cover. Tewksbury describes Davis as having "spit in each of his opponents' lanes to intimidate them." But at the 1988 Olympics in Seoul, where the two men were part of Canada's 4x100 medley relay team, Davis put his arm around Tewksbury while psyching him up for the team's bid for a silver medal. Tewksbury said that, "was the first time that I felt like I had been accepted for being gay, and for being a swimmer." They won the medal.

Although Calgary gays and lesbians have celebrated pride for some years, they've done it without a proclamation from the city. Tewksbury said in his televised interview, "I'm looking forward to the day gay pride is proclaimed in Calgary -- it's letting people be who they are." Mayor Al Duerr, who thinks Tewksbury is "a great guy" and says he's known for years that Tewksbury is gay, said, "The issue is very straightforward -- it doesn't fit the policy simply because it's a divisive issue within the community." The city's policy bars proclamations on controversial matters. Canadian mayors in three cities have been found by state human rights tribunals to have violated civil rights laws by refusing to sign proclamations of gay and lesbian pride.

It wasn't all a breeze daring to go public. "I went through a period last week where I asked, What am I doing, what am I doing? -- that last little bit of fear that I had to let go.... I was open to losing everything. I was really prepared for the possibility that everything in my life could fall away. It has not happened, and I don't think it will happen." He also said, "I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. I'm doing this blindly. I do know somewhere in my heart it's the right thing and doors will open." And he adds that, "even if people shift [their attitudes] half a degree, it'll have been worth it."